Wildlife Tails: Breaking The Ice

I thought I would share a story about bars and pickup lines because I think this one is very funny. You may be wondering, “What could this have to do with wildlife and conservation?” Read on and you’ll see the connection.

In May of 2007, I went to Halifax for a few days. The organization I was with at the time has an office there and I was promoting our new teacher resources by visiting a couple of schools and talking to elementary children about wildlife conservation.

This was my first visit to Halifax and I was really excited. First, because I LOVE to travel and second because two colleagues from Toronto had gone to work at our office in Halifax for a year and I was going to hang out and explore the city with them.

If you’ve ever been to Halifax, you’ve no doubt been to the Lower Deck. As I learned, it’s THE pub to visit and have a pint or two while listening to one of Nova Scotia’s many fantastic local bands. We had a great night with lots of laughs, but what made this night particularly memorable for me was an exchange that took place between me and some random guy. Apparently, there is a pickup line that goes like this:

Guy: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

Girl: No

Guy: Neither do I, but it’s enough to break the ice!

Now if you’ve been following my blog entries, you’ll know that one of the species I’ve been lucky enough to work with is the polar bear. So in my mind - because I hadn’t yet heard this line - this guy had been chatting with one of my colleagues, found out what we do and decided to talk to me about polar bears. Poor guy! And keep in mind that the music is loud so we’re yelling over it. Here’s how the exchange went:

Guy: Can I ask you a question?

Me: Sure.

Guy: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

Me: Yes, do you want that in pounds or kilos?

Pause...

Guy: (looking at me like I’m crazy) What?

Me: What?

Guy: Never mind.

Me: (confused): Wait...what?

Guy: Nothing. (tries to walk away)

Me: (still confused): What just happened here? Did one of my colleagues tell you to ask me that question?

Guy: (still looking at me like I’m crazy) No. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Me: Well then why would you ask me that question?

Guy: (slightly annoyed) Well why would you answer it like that?

Me: Because I work for a conservation organization and polar bears are one of the key animals I work on.

Guy: Oh, that’s weird.

Me: So, what response were you looking for?

So then the poor guy goes on to tell me about the pickup line, completely embarrassed by this time. Needless to say, he left abruptly after that while I was laughing – at the situation, not him...well ok, maybe a little at him for trying that line in the first place – and looking for my friends to tell them what had just happened. I mean, what are the chances of that?

And that is by far the BEST line I’ve had used on me! I often wonder if that guy ever got the nerve to use it again. Oh, and in case you were wondering, the weight of a polar bear depends on age, sex, the season and which subpopulation we're talking about (especially for those fasting during their time on land). There's a wide range, but on average an adult male bear weighs around 400 kilos or 880 pounds – some weigh more and some weigh less. Females usually weigh about half of what males weigh.